detachment and success

Q: Alright, Dave, what's up with all of these 'motivational blogs'?

A: I don't know...it's just top of mind, and I felt it worth sharing. I'm also finding as I write these, that in essence, I'm outwardly expressing how I hope to live my life everyday. So, in a backwards sort of a way, it's my way of letting the world know my intentions and desires. This blog allows me to express them to you, and in turn, you use them for your own benefit.

Onwards!!

It's funny, I've always been told, "to succeed, you have to set goals and reach those goals"

How about you? Sound familiar?

Ever set a goal, and never reach it?

Do you find yourself chasing that goal, and feeling discouraged when the same outcome comes true?

I've been reading a really cool book called "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" (oh great, Dave's going to go all Bible on us..)

Not quite. Actually, the book talks about some interesting things like "The Law of Intention" or "The Law of Dharma" or "The Law of Giving", etc. You recognize the word 'Law' quite a bit, but in it's truest sense, the word law in indisputable; it's fact, it's constant, it's un-flexible, it's true. For instance, many things are 'Law', like, oh I don't know, death, birth, an object in motion, stays in motion, gravity, and on, and on...I think you get the point. These things can't be contested. I mean you can try, but I'm pretty sure if you jump out of a plane, the law of gravity will pull straight to the center of Earth. Is it the 'Law' or the 'Gravity' that pulls you down? Well, maybe you philosophy majors can dispute that. Either way, your ass is coming down.

One of the more interesting Laws, is the Law of Detachment. It's interesting, I was just reading an article entitled, "What Psychological Techniques Did The Government Use To Increase Navy SEAL Passing Rates" (read more here: http://www.businessinsider.com/what-four-psychological-techniques-did-the-government-use-to-increase-navy-seal-passing-rates-2011-12). Throughout it, it talks about goal setting, but not in the sense we're used to.

99% of people's goals beat to the tune of: "I want a million dollars" "I want to lose 10 pounds" "I want a boyfriend or girlfriend" "I want an A" "I want to run a 6 minute mile" and on. 

Would you agree? How many people actually reach their goals? (sorry for the 99%/1% analogy, but maybe some truth here, and reason why some are in the 1% or 99%? Just throwing it out there).

You see, reaching a goal, is different than chasing a result. Again, goals do not equal results. A goal is  a point in time that you have come to that matches the efforts you put forth leading up to that point in time. Let's simplify this a little. A goal is achieved in what you do right now. It is not achieved in it's entirety. Do you see the difference? A goal is the sum of many milestones being achieved. Reaching a goal is an accumulation, it is not a single event.

In this article, it talks about Navy Seal pass rates are going up because of some of the similar "goal setting" techniques. It's not that they don't want to finish BUD/S (that's the Law of Intention and Desire), it's that they have to detach themselves from the end result, to actually reach the end result. Again, you have to detach yourself from your goal to reach your goal. Sound kind of weird?

The reality is, to reach a goal, you have to live your life every moment, to your maximum ability, and therefore, with each action or choice you make, it will naturally lead you to your goal. This means that, the less you are trying to reach a "Goal" living your life narrowly focused on just the goal, but rather live your life to the fullest of your potential, and with the desire and intention to reach this goal, you naturally will do so, with no extra effort. Does that make sense? Goals are reached in the "here and now", they are not reached 6 months from now. You can't chase a goal, you have to live your goal. You have to detach yourself from the end result, and rather live presently in a state of maximum potential and good choice, and you will reach your goal. 

Reaching a goal is no one else's responsibility but yours and mine. So, detach yourself from the result you think you need to go chase, and start living your goal now. It's not about the end game, it's about the next play.

the power of many

I've always dreamed, if everyone at once decided to stop what they're doing, and put their thoughts towards the same exact thing, what could happen...what could be acheived.

Just think, a few brains came together and created the internet, or the space shuttle, or the car and plane. It started as a kernel of a thought, and with many brains behind it, evolved into something greater. Would you agree? Nothing is achieved alone. It always takes a team of people, who all bring different things to the table, to produce something magnificent. And, this doesn't just happen. It takes time, patience, dedication and energy.

Though, what if, with the holiday's coming up, and people seeking for meaning as we head into the New Year, what if we made what we truly desire known to the world. If we had the guts to say what we truly wanted without fear or hesitation, what could happen? What if we all did this, and by letting the world know, they repeat what you want, and you repeat what they want, and then eventually one turns into two, into six into twelve, and before you know it, thousands and if not millions of minds are working in tandem. This could be that you want peace in your family, or love in your life, or a new job, or a new friend, or reach a new goal, or peace and love in the world. Maybe, with you declaring to the world what you truly desire, it comes true. What do you have to lose? I do it every week, and though it was embarrassing at first, it's been life-giving....for myself and the people who engage in it. Why can't you did this?

I guarantee, if you have the courage to let the world know what you truly desire, the world will not only respect you more because of it, but it will honor your desire if it is truly for the better good (I'm not talking about getting a BB Gun for Christmas...though you can try).

So, as we approach the holidays and the new year, what do you truly desire? It comes true by letting the world know. So, let us know. We're waiting. We want to help, and we want you to help us.

Reply below, and to really let the world know, post this with your comments to Facebook. If you don't reply, maybe you don't embody the courage to do it, and unfortunately, if it is not here or somewhere else, your goals and desires will slowly die because you're holding them in. It's like anything else, if you hold it in, it slowly dies, and takes you with it.

Stop living in a shell, and come alive already.

We're waiting.

i'm on linkedin, i'm on facebook and twitter, my resume is out there...why can't i find a new job, dammit!

Alright, so this one is maybe a little more practical than just my opinions on life and my attempt to inspire the audience into believing in themselves, and the key to anything they want starting with them.

Actually, I just lied. This is still about you, and your abilities.

I remember when I first signed up for Linkedin, FB, TW, etc. It was annoying. "I have to build profile, input all of my credentials, works experiences, education, etc. What do these people think, I have all of the time in the world?"

Woe is me (and you). The world doesn't care about your time. The world/universe cares about your effort, choices and commitment.

It's probably taken me 4 years to get my Linkedin profile complete (up until this point) with relevant information that may make me stand-out versus other people (and vice-versa). I came to the realization that even after I had a nice profile, took the time to get it done, things weren't just going to happen. You see, a profile on any Social Network (Hey Nelly to Linkedin) portrays your commitment to yourself. If you half-ass it, then people are going to think you're lazy. If you don't take the time and commit yourself to making your outward facing information (Hey Nelly to Linkedin) your best stuff, then don't bother....because, unfortunately, no one cares, and they don't have time to make assumptions about you. And if you think you're being mysterious and leaving out information because "you don't need anyone" will make people think you're arrogant, and they will pass you by. The more, the better. Do you put that you were the captain of your team on your resume? Or that you played sports in college? Of course you did (I hope!! otherwise you are hugely selling yourself short), then you have to do the same thing here. People need the facts...you have them, but you have to take the time to put them in. At the least, most people only look to your profile to validate who you say you are....that alone could make or break you.

Don't sell yourself short either...one social network isn't the end all. You have to diversify...just think, if you put all of your money into one stock, and saw no, to negative returns, versus spreading your investment out, what do you think gives you the best chances for success? That's a simple one (now, go join your team on Hey Nelly). Or if you wore the same clothes everyday...eventually those clothes are going to wear down, and you're going to need new clothes. Same principal applies here. You need/have to continuously trickle in new avenues that have the potential to accelerate you both personally and professionally, otherwise you will begin to stagnate.

I heard an interesting thing the other day. We're all familiar with the phrase "Return on Investment (ROI)"....it's pretty overused, though think about the phrase "Return on Energy (ROE)", thus time. If you take 1 hour to really make your profile stand-out, that one hour could be the equivalent to a minimal $10-30K raise/new job, if not much, much more. Just do the math - $10-30K x 1 hour = $10-30K/hour. Not bad ROE...just made yourself a cool 10G's.

You just made an additional $10K-$30K because your outward facing information was crisp, clean, tight and thoughtful, and it took you 1-hour to do. What could you do with $30K?

Arguably, this is just the start. You have to now get yourself out there...meet a ton of people, start connecting with people with things in common (Sports - Hey Nelly Professional - Linkedin). That's been one of my most powerful tools that you're not taught in school.....networking. But not in the cheesy way, but in the way that gets someone excited about you. Maybe your neighbors, same school, mutual friends, same sports team, etc. You have to find that common ground when networking, and then build on that. Don't look to lean on family connections, because those tend to be only surface-level, and not truly valuable when compared to the connections you've made organically with your own efforts. Those are connections you can feel really good about. It's like buying your first car...when Mom and Dad bought it, people always gave you shit. When you buy it, people admire and respect your efforts because you were able to do yourself. Same logic applies here.

The net of this is, a combination of purposeful and well positioned outward facing material mixed with your ability to cultivate meaningful connections (built on the premise of mutual interests and commonalities) will result in a huge ROE for you both professionally and personally.

Does that happen overnight? No. It took me 3-5 years to build the beginnings of my own foundation, though if you wait to build yours, from your own organic efforts, just think of the people who do and how much further ahead of you they will be. This isn't about getting an 'A' in school. That doesn't matter anymore. This is the new way of school...it's called the real world.


As I've always been told by my Dad, or any other mentor in my life, if you really want it, go get it. Take the time.....it's pretty clear it's worth it.