when i look at people, i see....3 levels

This past weekend, we went to a wedding of one of my wife's close friends, and it was a great time...it was right on the ocean, and we stayed in this beautiful house with the beach at our feet....not bad...and it was nice and sunny. So, the wedding comes, and I don't know what came over me, but I was a dancing-machine, to the point where not only was the front of my dress shirt soaked, but the back of it, the sides, the collar....and truth be told, I didn't have a drink (I'm a lightweight these days, but that can be debated at a different time). We had this ridiculous dance where people were in a circle, slapping hands to the one next to them...I mean, so ridiculous, it's hard, and slightly embarrassing to explain, but it was AWESOME! Everyone laughing, having a great time...one person said this dance made them laugh more than they have in a long-time..to add to this, they had the cutest grandparents...married 63 years, and they were still dancing together like old times...it was a beautiful site.

Earlier in the day, I went for a quick workout, and used the public parking lot as my area. I'm on this new kick of doing Navy Seal body-weight workouts (learn more at Seal Grinder PT, you can Google it), and some of it can seem a little much. There I was, doing endless push-ups, box jumps, burpees, frog jumps, running, crunching, and on and on. I'm such a badass, right? There people were, sitting on the beach, enjoying one of the last summer days, and here's this guy, sweating, exerting, and pushing.

Fast-forward. It's now the day after the wedding, and I rush home to make church (yes, I'm church-goer). It was 9/11 and the day was beautiful. I didn't have a change of clothes, so I had to wear my workout shorts, and a t-shirt to mass. A little sloppy, but who's judging? I'm there for the same reason everyone else is....I think.

As I'm standing in the back of church (because that's just something I've always done), I'm looking around, and it dawns on me that I start picturing everyone elses lives around me. Now bare with me....

Food for thought first: What inside of us makes us evaluate people? Alternatively, what inside of us drives us to portray who we are, or who we think we are? I mean seriously think about these questions...why do we evaluate (judging is evaluating mixed with opinion without knowing the story, thus ignorance). But evaluate is a little softer, and something we do all-day, of everyday of every moment. Test yourself, tomorrow, just think "when am I evaluating others?" This isn't necessarily judging, merely evaluating. You'll be astonished how much of your brain-power goes towards this once you consciously measure it. Let me know how it goes...

But because I take it too far, I start breaking it down into sections of people:
Babies
Young
Adolescence
Twenties
The rest of us
New Grandparents
Old Grandparents
Widowed Grandparents
People who are literally actively dying

In all seriousness, church has it all. From there, I started breaking it into levels of 3 (of the 9 groups above), and because I was evaluating, I began to wonder about each of the group's life journey. Journey is a very broad term, but for me it means meaning and acceptance. Level 1 is Awkward, Level 2 is Stubborn, and Level 3 is Innocent. As you get closer to each level, the two categories begin to mix. As you can see, I said innocent for the older people. I just get this uncontrolled sense, that after all of these years, they've let go, and let innocence settle in. As you can see, Level 3 is just before Level 1, so you can see how the cycle could repeat itself if physical life allowed.

I started evaluating my theory while in mass (mixed with prayer of course). I looked at an infant, the mix of Level 3 and Level 1 was obvious. They were innocent, but helpless, however beginning to figure things out. Next, a young person, who had sunglasses on in church, and was licking his brother (I even think they touched tongues...it got really awkward, and as you can see, they are in the heart of the awkward phase). Next, teenagers, who are awkward, but becoming stubborn from the standpoint that "they are who they are, so F-off"...rebellious, getting more stubborn, and still awkward. Awkwardness begins to fade away, and stubbornness begins to really set in. Take my examples from above for instance. I didn't care what anybody thought, so I was going to dance my ass off, do a ridiculous workout to challenge myself even though it inconvenienced the ones around me and probably made them feel less about themselves, and continue to stand in the back of church....why do I still stand in the back of church? To take that a step further, how many of us know someone in their 20's or 30's who seem like they're still in college. Or, refusing to grab life for what it's worth because they're just fine and content, and they have plenty of years to do so? Contentedness = stubbornness, and it's no mystery for the few that aren't content...they're the ones you read about everyday truly making a difference. But we can't be them right? We are who we are...stubborness.

Up until this point, I can evaluate myself against the first 2 levels, and get a result of how I have done. Again, done...past-tense (which doesn't really matter, but interesting). Was I that awkward? Was I, am I that stubborn? Yes and Yes! But I'm beginning to feel a funny thing start to settle in...I by no means think I'm innocent, but I think true innocence, that is obtained in Level 3, is a journey in of itself. You see, the first 2 levels are exploratory phases...who are we? who do we think we are? we are who we are. (stubborn phase is statements only...no questions). but something begins to happen...and at the core of who we are....we start asking a flurry of questions as we progress through Level 2 to Level 3, certainly not before, and they really are deep-seeded...like "Am I going to be a good dad?" "Am I doing what I'm suppose to be doing?" "Is it to late to make change?" "What matters most to me?", etc. and through this period of time, we actually begin to let go. Now, I can't speak for people almost in Level 3, because I'm not that old, c'mon...but, these transitional periods of time, ultimately lead us to a point of innocence...of acceptance, of peace. I see it in the eyes of the old man shaking my hand after we recite the Our Father. It's this sense of, "life does have an ending, so I'm not going to concern myself with things that don't matter, and accept and release all that holds me from interacting in a meaningful and productive way." By looking in his eyes, it all came together in that one split second for me....strive for innocence. Don't be bound by your level or by yourself, and furthermore, don't be bound by anything. Always strive to make meaning, and in doing so, making your interactions meaningful....because they don't last forever. The more time we stay stuck in Level 1 and Level 2, the less time we are actually living and seeing all that life is worth. I'll tell you what, the old man's spirit and sense of innocence empowered me...it really did...that said, I don't want to be 85 to experience what he is ultimately experiencing.....innocence.

Do yourself a favor, find an old man or woman...and genuinely shake their hand...I'm being serious...find them on their way to the post-office, or to their coffee...go out of your way, shake their hand, introduce yourself, and I promise if you keep innocence in mind, your life will be changed forever, and you'll be very thankful for what you have, and less concerned about "who you are."