I thought of Hey Nelly in 2010 while watching college football, and couldn’t help but to think how much I missed the good ol’ boys. We fell out of touch so quickly and just sort of moved on. How did this happen? Here are the guys I went to battle with everyday, the same people who bled, sweat and cried over wins and losses - The same guys who dreaded workouts and practice, but gave it their all anyways because their teammates and coaches relied on them - The same people who committed themselves to something greater than themselves to achieve a greater good with successful outcomes – winning.
Whatever happened to this culture, and why did it have to stop? I soon came to realize in the real-world this doesn’t exist. People seem to just stop caring out here in the RW: stop caring about their health, stop caring about their happiness, stop caring about outcomes, stop caring about the one’s around them, stop caring, and ok with accepting less than what they're capable of: a job to just pay the bills; no goals while wrapped in a spiral of cynicism, with their finger pointing outward on why it's everyone else's fault. Why? What happened to self-worth? I did an unofficial census on these unhappy people, and came to realize they were isolated, and not in the sense that no one wanted to be around them, but in the sense that they didn't belong to anything, i.e. a community, or a set of beliefs or common goals. I look back on my points of 'not caring', because no one is immune, and realized that it was when I was most alone, without a group of people or a sense of myself. I then looked back and thought of my moments of most self-worth, and it inevitably pointed back to times where I was enveloped in something more than myself: teams, groups, relationships, belief systems, support from others, etc.....more than myself, and by that I mean being amongst others, who all pitched in. You see, human beings are social animals, but more than that, they are community-based animals. There's a reason why you have a last name: because you are amongst a long-line of people who've passed down tradition, belief-systems, names, stories. Or why your town has a name, or your school, or your recreational club, church, group, or team. I didn't play for the "Dave's", I played for the Hawks, the Leopards, and so on. Let's now relate this to today's social networks online. I sign-up as Dave, and then 1 by 1, connect with another person, as Dave, making me a one-man community. But can you see how this is counter-intuitive to human nature? When you move into a new town or city, guess what, for better or worse, you are automatically now apart of that community, and from there, you will do your part and meet new people. Yes, relationships are built one at a time, but for me at least, there was something common that brought me together to most people I've created relationships with. Again, it was the community I lived in, or a team I played on, or a group I was apart of, and so on, that allowed me the opportunity to join others, and in most cases, we had a shared sense of common cause. Relationships are at the core of who we are, and why we exist, but the value of that relationship, is what really drives us forward. Not necessarily the amount of relationships, but the quality of that relationship, that really means something to us..we all want to be understood, and for me, when there was a group or a team with common goals and beliefs, I felt I was most understood then, and vice-versa.This didn't always lead to wins, but the power of unity and oneness, really drove us forward, and me forward....and still does
You see, in the RW, you’re on your own these days. It’s sink or swim, or get the hell out of the way. "On your own"is contrary to who we are as people! Meet a person "on their own" and make your own judgement on how happy or fulfilled they are. "On your own"online, in your job, in your faith, in your beliefs, and on and on. We're community-based animals, and not only need, but want to be connected with like people! Any disputes?
So, why when we go online to other social networks, do we go on as an individual? And then individually seek individuals out, and then awkwardly send that individual an invite? You see today's social networks don't represent how we truly interact in the real-world. Sure, there's plenty of people signed up, but I would argue they're signed up because they're seeking something other than just "what you ate for dinner last night", but rather, for people who understand them, their beliefs, who they are as a person, with the hope, out of the thousands of people you connect with, that hopefully, just hopefully, a few understand who you are. Sounds like a lot of work to get a few people to truly understand you and who you are.
My candid thoughts on the meaninglessness of individual social connections, and the importance of YOUR community, or communities, and how it is our duty to be a contributor to the communities you are apart of (by the way, communities represent a group or team of people who are connected on the premise of just that...common beliefs, dreams, wins, failures, expectations, goals, sacrifice, and contributions):
We need to be there for each other, the same way we were there when we held our trophies high, gave a helping hand to a teammate getting up off the field, or words of encouragement that got you through that last sprint. Teams come in all flavors, but teammates remain consistent: individuals, who give of themselves sacrificing their own comfort to achieve a greater good with successful outcomes for the community as a whole. Teammates or community members, outside of family (with last names), were and are your greatest assets. It is time to nurture that bond, and give you the support and access to your greatest assets, that you have earned the right to call your community of teammates.
Ask yourself these questions:
Am I going to be "On my own"? Or, am I going to engage with my past or present communities or teams, and contribute all that I am capable of?
Are you with me?
I hope you choose well.
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