Why did I ever try doing a tech startup?

Haha....

Alright, so I've had a lot on my mind lately, as I'm sure everyone has. My job is killing me; It's officially taking me twice as long to recover from anything now (working out, a late night); I'm going to be a dad to a baby boy in 6-8 weeks (OMG!! Am I ready for this?!?), bills out the ass, soon to be more bills out the ass; I work out twice as much, and still have a gut; And, of course, last but not least, 'Hey Dave, let's try a startup while you're at it....' Idiot. Alright, so the things first mentioned...well, that's life (blah, blah, blah), so we're going to focus on the area of stress that I decided, 'hey, why not?!'. Doing a startup....why is it stressful? Well, I've concluded not for the general reasons you might think or assume why it might be stressful...let's begin.

Money. Money in some cases is fleeting. You earn, then you spend. It could be on bills, debt, new things, etc. But money invested is actually (in theory and in hope) growing your asset...to, say, buy MORE things, pay down more debt, etc. If all went well, money in, would multiply in money out. So, it's not money, because it's fleeting anyway. Of course, a little cushion is always nice!

Idea. Everyone has an idea, but ideas are a dime a dozen. Taking an idea, and making it a product is fun whether the product takes or not. Trying is 90% of the game. But the idea isn't the target of stress.

Time. It's limited, so whatever you do with time, you should be looking to move forward and make the most of it; successful product or not. You're going to have your time regardless, so it's worth trying new things, and bringing new ideas to life, rather than running in place.

What else...

Team? Nope, the team we have is amazing.

Alright, so all of the items, if looked at in isolation, really aren't the cause of any stress, really at all.

So, why is doing a start-up so stressful?

Doing a startup is like being given a wedgie, and then hung off the basketball hoop with all of your classmates throwing tomatoes at you. Or being pants-ed in the 7th grade in front of a group of girls, and it just so happened that it was the day you forgot to throw on your boxers.

You're in this constant state of feeling like an idiot. Like your idea is stupid, and people think you're crazy. If someone were to tell me that is what you should expect when doing a start-up, I may have re 'thunk' it (probably not, but....) I mean, all you ever really hear is, '99% of all start-ups fail'...so, what's the big deal? "So, you're telling me I gotta chance" - Lloyd Christmas

Or, you feel like people think you're delusional....like you're the guy who shows up to the gym and runs on the treadmill in his khakis and dress shirt...."Who does this guy think he is?"

It's funny, I was talking with our mobile dev engineer about what it feels like when it's your product (I'm coining this term from somewhere, or it was similar)....when you look at your product, you get this overwhelming sense of both accomplishment and embarrassment. Something like, 'Holy Crap, my idea is actually live, and you can visit it' immediately into 'Holy Crap, my idea is actually live, WTF am I doing?!? It sucks! I wouldn't visit this, why should anyone else?!?'

You feel like you're walking in a desert, and you see mirages of people holding water, you chase after the mirage, and it disappears...You're constantly disappointed, annoyed, nit-picky, frustrated, pissed off...you spend too much time on it, and really do question "Why did I ever try doing a start-up?"

What if I did this, or made this tweak?...haha....

Well, then, why the hell do I keep pushing forward? I don't know, other than I'm not ready to quit it yet, and, truth be told, I haven't really pushed it because I've been too frustrated by it! (there in lies the problem). So, starting now (and with the mobile coming out very shortly), I am officially going to 'un-wedgie' myself, come down from the basketball hoop, wipe off the tomatoes, and give this thing a go. Time to pull the pants up off the ground, tuck my shirt in, and give this a whirl. Because, at the end of the day "why not?". There will always be critics, people will think you're crazy, but I will never actually know unless I take the khakis off, and throw on some running shorts (had to tie it all together!)

There is no doubt a start-up is hard. But honestly, it's hard because it's so mental and emotional. I wouldn't have thought that in a million years before I started Hey Nelly. But, it truly is beautiful, daring, and fun at the same time, and it really does make it worth it.

I know no matter what, I am going to be so thankful that I at least tried, no matter how embarrassing, or stupid, or even ashamed I feel when doing this, or after we push it more broadly.

It's always darkest before the dawn, and everyone needs a good wedgie every now and again! :)

35 freshman, perseverance and a special teams captain

I remember when I first arrived at Lafayette there were 35 of us new freshman, and we each thought we were awesome. I mean, why wouldn't we, we were 'the man' in our own little world of high school football. Some were All-Conference, others All-State, others All-Universe.

It's funny though, at first glance, some of the guys you thought were going to be total animals weren't (no, no...no names, we're all brothers), and others you thought didn't have a chance. We all did it: 'He's a running back?? C'mon!' or 'He's an All-State quarterback, c'mon!'

We all did it. They probably looked at me and said 'that midget plays fullback? what the hell?'

All kidding aside, we had no idea what we were in for.

Some of these 'big-time' guys quit after the first week, or unfortunately became injured, and had to end their career early. This was so common, and sad, because guys you loved playing with no longer could. These were your brothers, and there was a sense of loneliness when some of your best friends had to disengage from the team.

We joined, and the team the year before was 2-8. We had a long uphill battle to gain respect again in the Patriot League. To add to that, we hadn't beat Lehigh in close to 7 years. Lafayette was, for all intensive purposes, the red-headed step child of the Patriot League (sorry Brungo, ha).

I remember after a few days of camp, all of us 35 came together in the basement of a dorm to proclaim what football meant to us, and what our goals were as a group. Some comments were funny, some were serious, some were downright moronic, but at the end of it all, we had all become closer because of it. I look back on it now, and think of how much that set the foundation of the kind of class we were going to be. Sadly enough, not everyone in that room made it all four years, but the guys who had to hang up the cleats, always remained, and still do, apart of the brotherhood that was established that night.

We went on that year, and ended up beating Lehigh. I remember coming out to 'Lose Yourself' by Eminem (it had just come out), with screaming fans going crazy. I had never been so pumped to play a game, that I actually didn't play in (huh?). Well, most of us 35 were third-string, and on practice squad. Its a long journey to the top, but we eventually got there.

We moved onto Sophomore year, and some of the 35 began to see playing time. It was exciting! We were always so proud of each other. Whether it was one person getting some snaps, or another making a tackle, we took great pride in seeing one another represent our class so well. We had some heavy-hitters on defense who made an immediate impact on the team. The cool thing here is that we started to grow confidence in ourselves as a class, that we really could have an impact on this team.

Come Jr. year, many of us had now solidified our spots on the team. Some were heading into their first or second year of starting, and because of the commitment shown in the first 2 years by our class, we had the respect of the seniors ahead of us. They knew we were in it to win it, and as group. We had some standout guys, but what I think what defined us 35 was our unity, commitment to one another, and determination to make our mark.

I think that's what led us to winning our first Patriot League Championship our Jr. year. The first one in almost 10 years at Lafayette, and it felt so amazing. It was an amazing team effort, that led to an amazing team result.

We're now seniors, and have the bullseye on our backs. It's great to think about it. We went from the dud of the league, to the team to beat. The 35 had a big reason to do with that. With the graduation of some key players from the year before, we had the odds stacked against us. We came into the year as a good team, with some very solid players who stood out in their own way, but no one person who was going to make it our break it for us as seen sometimes with teams. If we were going to do it, we were going to do it as a team. The season was long, but we remained on top of the league going into our final game against Lehigh. We played them tough, though the game was slipping away. We had just a couple of minutes left, and had to drive close to 70 yards to score. 1st down, nothing, 2nd down, nothing. 3rd down, nothing. We still have 70 yards to go, and there's only a minute left, and it's 4th down. We had no magic up our sleeves. It all came down to this. The 35 that met in the basement of the dorm that one night, were faced with being the leaders who could pull our team through in one play that would define our 4 years, whether we liked it our not.

Hike! Skirts one sack, skirts the next sack, in desperation, he lofts the ball in the air.....it can't be, an open player down the field, and IT'S CAUGHT, IN THE ENDZONE!! THE LEOPARDS ARE ON TOP, WITH 30 SECONDS TO GO. COULD THIS BE?!?!?'

From that moment on, it was validated, the 35 were defined by winning. Lafayette went on to win another championship the year later, however haven't seen one since.

It's bittersweet, though. The 35 soon went off on their own paths. Some into the business world, some went back to school, but a lucky few were able to take their play to the next level.

Some went on to different feeder leagues such as European football, arena football, though a couple of them got a shot at the NFL. One went to camp, and decided he had enough and wanted to get into business. The other went, and got cut. He wasn't ready to pack it in though. It was just like him to not quit. That's what the 35 represented.

He didn't take no for an answer. He went to Europe to sharpen his skills, only to come home and get another crack at the NFL. Did I mention, he relented to become the NFL Europe Defensive Player of the Year? Well, he did.

He came home, and bounced around a little bit, until he found a home on the Buffalo Bills. There, he persevered, and became apart of the 53 man roster! What an achievement in of itself. He committed himself, and with the same determination we had as the 35, he became Special Teams MVP.

As in the NFL, there is a lot of churn, though the next season he found himself on the Cleveland Browns. Not the best team, though with his dedication and commitment, not only was he a vital part of the Special Teams unit, he became All-Pro! Are you serious? From dorm room, to hail mary vs. Lehigh, to Pro Bowl, albeit from Lafayette. The odds stacked against him, he found a way, and persevered.

Come 2011. Again, with the churn of the NFL, he was picked up by the San Francisco 49ers, under the new leadership of Coach Harbaugh, and became not just a leader and vital piece for special teams, but a leader and vital piece for the team. He has built a presence about him with the phrase 'LIVV' and helped lead his team all the way to the NFC Championship. They respected his work ethic, and contributions so much, that when the game went to overtime, he was there, in the middle of the field, representing his unit, as the Special Teams Captain. What an honor.

With that, Blake, you continue to carry the spirit of the 35. Guys who had the world stacked up against them, though continued to fight, prevailing as champions....just as you continue to do.

every single men's and women's team in hey nelly? c'mon!

For those of you that know me (well, I guess that's anyone who has read this blog!), know I've been working on something I truly believe can have an amazingly positive impact on people's lives. Teams to me are very emotional and intimate places where people come together to achieve spectacular things, as well as share with each other their ups and downs, their wins and losses, and share in sacred place they have created; one rule: you can only join if you go through the same sacrifice. It's not a wide-open world. It's the world of men and women respecting themselves, and one another, and earning that right to share in on the ride.

We have the challenge of manifesting this through technology, though we're not going to stop until we do. The human element is so real, too important, and at the core of who we are. Yet, technology today is truly stripping us of these interactions. Our phone-conversations have turned into text messages and email. Me keeping up with old friends is secretly stalking them on Facebook and perusing through their pictures. There is just so much going on. This is just weird, and yet no one seems to have woken up from the nightmare, and probably never will.

I like pictures, too, but do you see how me just looking at your pictures and not actually interacting with you, goes against our desire to be in relation with one another? I mean, am I way off base?

It's hurtful to see so much of our generation just floundering aimlessly. No one cares, and with that, people have lost themselves. I don't think everything will be solved with what we're trying to do, but with our focus at Hey Nelly, we're going to target teams, and try to manifest a team experience online. I know people want this, because in the real-world, teams are all we have: families, sports, work, church, and on and on. These are all teams of people, yet, technology treats them all the same, and as individuals.When they're not.

We are out to change that, and will.

To shift gears, I've been really impressed with the Entrepreneurial spirit of some of the more recent graduates - people from 2008 and after.

In fact, one young man just made a huge difference for us here at HN.

Over the past couple of months, I've been manually putting in teams into Hey Nelly...one at a time. It usually went: College/University --> Gender --> Sport x 4,000 teams. This was eating into my personal life, my time with my family, weekend time, time at night, and on and on. Frankly, there was no way I was going to stop....I couldn't. This is too important. So, I just kept plugging away, day after day, night after night.

I reached out to a buddy who is a VP of Engineering at a cool startup in Boston, and he's been a great mentor and person of trust as I continue to build out Hey Nelly's platform. He invited me to their Christmas party, though I couldn't make it. By this point, I really did need the help of getting these teams in there. So, I asked if he knew anyone, and he pointed me to a young guy who has managed to graduate college in 3 years.

We grabbed lunch, and I was just impressed with this person's ability to achieve so much with what he had. I admire that in anyone: using your gifts to the fullest.

We talked, and immediately we had needs he could solve. The funny thing is, he solved one of them in 9 hours. Found a way to create an automated system that learned what teams were at what school's, and built it into Hey Nelly. Are you serious? I could probably build 250 teams in 9 hours. They built 30,000.

I'm sharing this story because of what I thought was near impossible, became possible. I just reclaimed my weekends, my nights, and some of the valuable personal time with my family (though, of course being a startup, it just accelerates other projects that were probably on hold eating into that time).

Let me repeat: what most thought was near impossible, became possible. And, this is just the start. It was with teamwork and collaboration that this seemingly insurmountable task for one, became an easily achievable task for another. This also proves one man's weakness is another man's strength. Always deploy this within your teams.

This reflected some of our core values at Hey Nelly: push the envelope, never quit, come together, overcome and achieve.

Having every team in Hey Nelly reflects that. We will achieve what we've set out to do: leverage the power of team through technology.

Every single men's and women's team in Hey Nelly? Yes. And more to come.

the forming of new years resolutions....

Alright, alright, so it's January 3rd, and 2012 is here to stay.

I had a great Christmas break. We went on a little family vaca, I read a few books, slept-in a little here and there, worked out in the warm sunshine, rode waves in the crystal blue ocean, and ate like a slob (I'm still hurting).

Whenever I have time away, I get a little carried away with thoughts and goals. Because of the spare time, I start to remind myself of allll the things I want to get done and achieve in the new year. Stop doing this, start doing that, do more of this, do less of that. You get the picture. Did you have the chance to reflect?

I then sit on these things for a few days before I determine which ones I really want to focus on. Which are ultimately going to get me to where I want to get to. I try to stick to 3-5, but preferably 4 (hehe). I'll do 5 if one of the goals is just too much to pass up!

From there, I write them down, put the notebook away (until I look at it again the next day), and begin making changes (why do we have to change to be better, and live a more full life, ahh (sigh/hoh-hum). Because nothing stays the same!

As I start making these changes, I look back at previous years, and give myself sort of a grade. One year might be a C+, the next an A-, but what it all boiled down to was decisions I made or didn't make throughout the year, and ultimately where they led me. Some into a crappy job, more debt, and more stress, and some into a cool job, less debt, and a happier life. I prefer the latter, so I try and replicate and build on the things I did well, and improve on the things I didn't do so well. I need a straight 'A' dammit!!

From there, I start to try and identify things I can surround myself with to help me achieve these goals. Maybe there are books, re-kindling old friendships, reaching out to create new friendships with smarter, better, faster people than me (that's how you get better, surround yourself with people better than yourself! It rubs off, and then you move onto the next group of geniuses, and make yourself available to maybe someone that was in your shoes a year or two ago. One big happy circle.)

I then identify what things in my current situation are helping or hurting me. Maybe it's diet or sleeping habits, frequency of exercise, faith and prayer, being prompt or not so prompt, and then shaving some of these things off, or building them up.

From there, the ball drops, and my reflection process now becomes my intended way of life for the new year.

As I write this, like I said, it's January 3rd, 2012. I'd like to pose a few questions for us all to consider:

1. Have you already given up?
2. Do you mean to live this intended way of life, or are you just saying it?
3. What's your grade so far?

So, in looking back at previous years, and in the years I was more satisfied with my performance than not, there were two major underlining things that hit me, that if I can just stick to these two, the year's outlook will turnout as planned if not better:

1. Action
2. Daily accountability for my own results

It's not that I don't come into the year with the best intentions, but if I don't act upon them and hold myself accountable, then you might as well take a nap and wake up Jan. 1, 2013, because this would've been a wasted year, and maybe you can try again then. This goes for you and me alike.

Anything else on top of this is just hot air. Such as, "I want to be stronger." "I want to be more respected." "I want to find what I'm really passionate about." "I want to do more community service and help others." "I want to educate myself." "I want to be more resilient and not give in when things get tough." "I want to pay my bills on time for once!" Guess what, none of this happens without a little thing called: Action (Def: an act that one consciously wills and that may be characterized by physical or mental activity, thus choice). And it doesn't improve without a little thing called: Accountability (Def: responsible to someone (yourself) or for some action; answerable to your own results.)

This doesn't start March 2nd, or July 15, it starts now. Give yourself a chance. Why go another year feeling like a loser (though you may be very successful to the outside world, but it's how you feel), if it's just as simple as starting today. And then worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. And then the day after that. It's like when I first started lifting in our family basement. I couldn't bench the bar, so I did pushups. Eventually, that got me strong enough to do the bar. From there, I would add weight to each side, until finally, I was pushing up multiples of my own body-weight. If I tried to do multiples of my own body-weight right away, I probably wouldn't be typing right now (because I would've been crushed).

I read a really cool book recently that my brother Pete gave to me for Christmas, by Marcus Aurelius, a well-known emperor of Rome (he wasn't the wimp in the movie Gladiator. Different guy). He named many people who were his mentors and figures that he looked up to and interacted with. One of the things that stuck with him most, and coincidentally stuck with me most while reading his book, was advice that his Grandfather, Verus (meaning 'Truth'), had given to him, and something I will leave you with:

"It is up to you!" 

detachment and success

Q: Alright, Dave, what's up with all of these 'motivational blogs'?

A: I don't know...it's just top of mind, and I felt it worth sharing. I'm also finding as I write these, that in essence, I'm outwardly expressing how I hope to live my life everyday. So, in a backwards sort of a way, it's my way of letting the world know my intentions and desires. This blog allows me to express them to you, and in turn, you use them for your own benefit.

Onwards!!

It's funny, I've always been told, "to succeed, you have to set goals and reach those goals"

How about you? Sound familiar?

Ever set a goal, and never reach it?

Do you find yourself chasing that goal, and feeling discouraged when the same outcome comes true?

I've been reading a really cool book called "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" (oh great, Dave's going to go all Bible on us..)

Not quite. Actually, the book talks about some interesting things like "The Law of Intention" or "The Law of Dharma" or "The Law of Giving", etc. You recognize the word 'Law' quite a bit, but in it's truest sense, the word law in indisputable; it's fact, it's constant, it's un-flexible, it's true. For instance, many things are 'Law', like, oh I don't know, death, birth, an object in motion, stays in motion, gravity, and on, and on...I think you get the point. These things can't be contested. I mean you can try, but I'm pretty sure if you jump out of a plane, the law of gravity will pull straight to the center of Earth. Is it the 'Law' or the 'Gravity' that pulls you down? Well, maybe you philosophy majors can dispute that. Either way, your ass is coming down.

One of the more interesting Laws, is the Law of Detachment. It's interesting, I was just reading an article entitled, "What Psychological Techniques Did The Government Use To Increase Navy SEAL Passing Rates" (read more here: http://www.businessinsider.com/what-four-psychological-techniques-did-the-government-use-to-increase-navy-seal-passing-rates-2011-12). Throughout it, it talks about goal setting, but not in the sense we're used to.

99% of people's goals beat to the tune of: "I want a million dollars" "I want to lose 10 pounds" "I want a boyfriend or girlfriend" "I want an A" "I want to run a 6 minute mile" and on. 

Would you agree? How many people actually reach their goals? (sorry for the 99%/1% analogy, but maybe some truth here, and reason why some are in the 1% or 99%? Just throwing it out there).

You see, reaching a goal, is different than chasing a result. Again, goals do not equal results. A goal is  a point in time that you have come to that matches the efforts you put forth leading up to that point in time. Let's simplify this a little. A goal is achieved in what you do right now. It is not achieved in it's entirety. Do you see the difference? A goal is the sum of many milestones being achieved. Reaching a goal is an accumulation, it is not a single event.

In this article, it talks about Navy Seal pass rates are going up because of some of the similar "goal setting" techniques. It's not that they don't want to finish BUD/S (that's the Law of Intention and Desire), it's that they have to detach themselves from the end result, to actually reach the end result. Again, you have to detach yourself from your goal to reach your goal. Sound kind of weird?

The reality is, to reach a goal, you have to live your life every moment, to your maximum ability, and therefore, with each action or choice you make, it will naturally lead you to your goal. This means that, the less you are trying to reach a "Goal" living your life narrowly focused on just the goal, but rather live your life to the fullest of your potential, and with the desire and intention to reach this goal, you naturally will do so, with no extra effort. Does that make sense? Goals are reached in the "here and now", they are not reached 6 months from now. You can't chase a goal, you have to live your goal. You have to detach yourself from the end result, and rather live presently in a state of maximum potential and good choice, and you will reach your goal. 

Reaching a goal is no one else's responsibility but yours and mine. So, detach yourself from the result you think you need to go chase, and start living your goal now. It's not about the end game, it's about the next play.

the power of many

I've always dreamed, if everyone at once decided to stop what they're doing, and put their thoughts towards the same exact thing, what could happen...what could be acheived.

Just think, a few brains came together and created the internet, or the space shuttle, or the car and plane. It started as a kernel of a thought, and with many brains behind it, evolved into something greater. Would you agree? Nothing is achieved alone. It always takes a team of people, who all bring different things to the table, to produce something magnificent. And, this doesn't just happen. It takes time, patience, dedication and energy.

Though, what if, with the holiday's coming up, and people seeking for meaning as we head into the New Year, what if we made what we truly desire known to the world. If we had the guts to say what we truly wanted without fear or hesitation, what could happen? What if we all did this, and by letting the world know, they repeat what you want, and you repeat what they want, and then eventually one turns into two, into six into twelve, and before you know it, thousands and if not millions of minds are working in tandem. This could be that you want peace in your family, or love in your life, or a new job, or a new friend, or reach a new goal, or peace and love in the world. Maybe, with you declaring to the world what you truly desire, it comes true. What do you have to lose? I do it every week, and though it was embarrassing at first, it's been life-giving....for myself and the people who engage in it. Why can't you did this?

I guarantee, if you have the courage to let the world know what you truly desire, the world will not only respect you more because of it, but it will honor your desire if it is truly for the better good (I'm not talking about getting a BB Gun for Christmas...though you can try).

So, as we approach the holidays and the new year, what do you truly desire? It comes true by letting the world know. So, let us know. We're waiting. We want to help, and we want you to help us.

Reply below, and to really let the world know, post this with your comments to Facebook. If you don't reply, maybe you don't embody the courage to do it, and unfortunately, if it is not here or somewhere else, your goals and desires will slowly die because you're holding them in. It's like anything else, if you hold it in, it slowly dies, and takes you with it.

Stop living in a shell, and come alive already.

We're waiting.

i'm on linkedin, i'm on facebook and twitter, my resume is out there...why can't i find a new job, dammit!

Alright, so this one is maybe a little more practical than just my opinions on life and my attempt to inspire the audience into believing in themselves, and the key to anything they want starting with them.

Actually, I just lied. This is still about you, and your abilities.

I remember when I first signed up for Linkedin, FB, TW, etc. It was annoying. "I have to build profile, input all of my credentials, works experiences, education, etc. What do these people think, I have all of the time in the world?"

Woe is me (and you). The world doesn't care about your time. The world/universe cares about your effort, choices and commitment.

It's probably taken me 4 years to get my Linkedin profile complete (up until this point) with relevant information that may make me stand-out versus other people (and vice-versa). I came to the realization that even after I had a nice profile, took the time to get it done, things weren't just going to happen. You see, a profile on any Social Network (Hey Nelly to Linkedin) portrays your commitment to yourself. If you half-ass it, then people are going to think you're lazy. If you don't take the time and commit yourself to making your outward facing information (Hey Nelly to Linkedin) your best stuff, then don't bother....because, unfortunately, no one cares, and they don't have time to make assumptions about you. And if you think you're being mysterious and leaving out information because "you don't need anyone" will make people think you're arrogant, and they will pass you by. The more, the better. Do you put that you were the captain of your team on your resume? Or that you played sports in college? Of course you did (I hope!! otherwise you are hugely selling yourself short), then you have to do the same thing here. People need the facts...you have them, but you have to take the time to put them in. At the least, most people only look to your profile to validate who you say you are....that alone could make or break you.

Don't sell yourself short either...one social network isn't the end all. You have to diversify...just think, if you put all of your money into one stock, and saw no, to negative returns, versus spreading your investment out, what do you think gives you the best chances for success? That's a simple one (now, go join your team on Hey Nelly). Or if you wore the same clothes everyday...eventually those clothes are going to wear down, and you're going to need new clothes. Same principal applies here. You need/have to continuously trickle in new avenues that have the potential to accelerate you both personally and professionally, otherwise you will begin to stagnate.

I heard an interesting thing the other day. We're all familiar with the phrase "Return on Investment (ROI)"....it's pretty overused, though think about the phrase "Return on Energy (ROE)", thus time. If you take 1 hour to really make your profile stand-out, that one hour could be the equivalent to a minimal $10-30K raise/new job, if not much, much more. Just do the math - $10-30K x 1 hour = $10-30K/hour. Not bad ROE...just made yourself a cool 10G's.

You just made an additional $10K-$30K because your outward facing information was crisp, clean, tight and thoughtful, and it took you 1-hour to do. What could you do with $30K?

Arguably, this is just the start. You have to now get yourself out there...meet a ton of people, start connecting with people with things in common (Sports - Hey Nelly Professional - Linkedin). That's been one of my most powerful tools that you're not taught in school.....networking. But not in the cheesy way, but in the way that gets someone excited about you. Maybe your neighbors, same school, mutual friends, same sports team, etc. You have to find that common ground when networking, and then build on that. Don't look to lean on family connections, because those tend to be only surface-level, and not truly valuable when compared to the connections you've made organically with your own efforts. Those are connections you can feel really good about. It's like buying your first car...when Mom and Dad bought it, people always gave you shit. When you buy it, people admire and respect your efforts because you were able to do yourself. Same logic applies here.

The net of this is, a combination of purposeful and well positioned outward facing material mixed with your ability to cultivate meaningful connections (built on the premise of mutual interests and commonalities) will result in a huge ROE for you both professionally and personally.

Does that happen overnight? No. It took me 3-5 years to build the beginnings of my own foundation, though if you wait to build yours, from your own organic efforts, just think of the people who do and how much further ahead of you they will be. This isn't about getting an 'A' in school. That doesn't matter anymore. This is the new way of school...it's called the real world.


As I've always been told by my Dad, or any other mentor in my life, if you really want it, go get it. Take the time.....it's pretty clear it's worth it.

i love how people think they know the future

Remember that weird noise the Jetson's ufo/plane/automobile made?

How many people thought that was the way it was going to be in the year 2000?!?! Ha. Us driving around in airborne cars. It would be cool, but I believe we call those airplanes now, and they've been around since the Right Brothers.

Or how about the year 2000 computer bug?

Or how buying a house will set you up for years to come with a return rate of 5-10% a year?

Or if you do this, this, and this, you will have this?

Or how about the media? The media has become 3 things: 1.) This or that is going to happen tomorrow. 2.) This is why what just happend will end the world. 3.) Gossip about other human beings we call celebrities.

Let's focus on #1, and the other future assumptions we make.....

If there is one thing we DON'T know, and we consistently get wrong, it's the FUTURE. Isn't that amazing? I mean, every publication, every news spot, everything you read and hear is always about how things will be in the future. I find this hysterical. We put these publications (or what have you) on pedestals, and believe them like gospel. But, take a moment to think about how you feel when you read, hear or see these things. Do emotions like: Fear, Despair, Discouragement, Hopelessness, Anxiety, Bewilderment, Confusion, Anger come to mind?

Pull yourself back a moment now. Do you like living your life with these feelings, all the time? I'm guessing no. Next, then why do you allow it to influence your being when in reality, it's wrong 99% of the time? Seriously, why do you do that to yourself?

It's about time to give the big middle finger to fear mongering bullshit that you allow so much of your life and inaction to be influenced by, and start taking in the things that really matter, and should be influencing us everyday: Hope, Love, Friendship, Community, Courage, Faith, Perseverance, Selflessness, and Health.

Why is it we get sick of reading about things that are good and positive, but can't get enough of the crap out there? Seriously, why? Because we've (you and I) allowed ourselves to become sheep, and influenced on empty, meaningless things, like what it's going to be like in the future....ha....how about, what are things going to be like right now? Today, this second, this moment. Is it too hard, too strenuous to think about the present moment? Does it take too much effort to remove yourself from the poor influences that rule your life? We need to stop being sheep, scardy cats, wimps. We've become those things we insult people with everyday. Start influencing your own life, your actions, your own present moment, and stop letting it be so influenced by this 'tagged' picture, that post, that prediction, what 'they' said or say....just stop, and take accountability.

Why do I care so much about this? Because if it doesn't happen, one thing I am almost certain of, the 1% of the predictions that will come true, is that we will have no souls, no spines, and ruled solely by what we're told. If you wonder why things suck, or times are tough, or why maybe you're unhappy at the moment, I promise, if you learn to influence your own life, live in the moment, those things will disappear, almost overnight. Don't believe me, just try it, but you have to trust it. If not, you can just sink back into being solely influenced about what you're told, and I can guarantee you will be lost forever. Do you want that?

I don't know shit, I don't know the future, but what I do know is that without personal accountability and action, every single day, you begin to die, and others around you start to follow suit. Is that the world you want?

The choice is yours. You future is dictated about what you do NOW!

Alright, off my soapbox. We're all in it together, but we each need to do our part.

trends and thanksgiving

For me, getting dressed for work is typically the usual: A nice collard shirt, a pair of slacks (I like my dark navy blues), and black shoes.

When it's not work time, usually it's a pair of jeans, a shirt with maybe a long-sleeve shirt over it, and gym-shoes (or my dorky hiking shoes, which Jenna loves!). If I'm feeling really motivated, I'll even comb my hair!! If not, my dingy Red Sox hat it is.

A far cry from what my female counterparts go through to get ready....men, ughhhh!

I know, I know....we have it easy. We don't shave, we fart all of the time, burp at will, over-eat, smell, and are in-general just pretty disgusting (just wait until Thursday! Your whole house is going to smell because of us!)

So, as my mind was wandering as I put on the same looking close day-after-day, I started to think with Thanksgiving around the corner of how our brethren dressed. For instance, Pilgrims...it seems like every picture of a Pilgrim I see is a man wearing knickers, high-socks, pointy black shoes, a log-sleeve shirt buttoned all-the-way up to the top, and a hat with a belt around it. Just think if I showed up like this to a meeting!! Do you think they would take me seriously? Ha, probably not. This style slowly evolved, though most of our earliest Presidents even donned the high-sock, knicker look.

Women, it wasn't much better for you. Everything was pretty much covered up, and the dresses seemed to be overly fitted for someone whose job was to just raise the kids, clean the clothes, milk the cow, collect the eggs, and cook (yes, we've come a long way).

If we go back further, it's funny to see what the trend was for that period of time. Actually my Hey Nelly video does a good job of depicting thist: www.heynelly.com. If it was King James and his Knights in shining armor, or Neanderthal vs. Homo Sapiens wearing pretty much nothing, each period of time represented what the norm was for that specific period of time.

Let's just go back to the 50's and 60's when letter-men sweaters, playing chicken, tight jeans, keds, and parted hair were swell, or the 70's when bell-bottoms and discos were groovy, or the 80's when lightening lines, flat-tops, and roller-rinks were cool, or in the 90's when flannels, timberland boots, and tattoos were phat. We can't forget parachute pants or starter jackets either!!! Those were awesome. The 2000's, well, we've seen better decades, but things like social media, Apple, and the Patriots, have changed life as we know it! (how can 1-team win 3-Superbowls in 1-decade...c'mon!).

Now, if you've lived through any of these periods of time, which more than likely you have, take a second and remember those special moments...moments that bring a big smile to your face....moments that make you really proud and happy. Any coming back to you? Maybe it was a football game, graduation, a winning goal, your first kiss, a new best friend, or any time of great joy. Any coming back to you?

It seems when I think of these times, they always tend to be around a central event, a culmination. But the funny thing is, is that this central event seems so constant, like I could depend on it, no matter what. It didn't care if I was in my Bulls Starter jacket, or maybe for you, the extra line you shaved in your head, or the new video game you got, it was just so dependable. You could look forward to it without hesitation, yet the central event never changes. Do you follow me? Maybe it was your birthday, a wedding, a birth, or maybe and most especially, holidays (hey, it's Thanksgiving this week!)

Do any moments of joy come from any central events in your life?

I ponder what it is about holidays that brings us so much joy, and the more I think about, the more I feel like I have the answer. What's so cool about things like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, 4th of July, is that no matter how hectic, discouraging, or mundane life is, these days bring moments of consistency into our lives. Actually, let me rephrase that. These days allow us to live in the moment. How many of us want days like Thanksgiving to end so we can get back to work the following Monday? Show of hands? Yea, not many. You see what these days do....actually, do you see what you let yourself do on these days? You let yourself live in the moment, just for that day, and never want to see the day end, because in that moment, so much joy is being experienced. Be it laughter, a backyard football game, your 3rd serving of turkey....I mean just talking about this bring a smile to my face (even chokes me up a little bit, admittedly).

I remember as a kid I would think: "I wish everyday was Christmas!!" Anyone else have the same wish....c'mon, anyone?? Ok.

You know what's so spectacular here? Is that the trend of the year doesn't matter. Who's playing on TV doesn't matter.

Days like Thanksgiving allow us to do what we truly yearn to do everyday.....just live in the moment, and be happy.....and content.....and loving....and full of joy and laughter.

I know for me, and most of the rest of you, days like these are fleeting and few and far between, but as we approach this Thanksgiving, and holiday season, let's collectively rediscover what it means to live in the moment, enjoy the day with family and friends, fill our bellies with homemade goodness, and......be thankful....for the moment.....because that's all that really matters

What if we did this everyday?

dream it, do it

I just got done watching this segment about the internet (on the internet), and how it is physical; that we can touch it.

Of course, this seems obvious, but you might have to admit that when thinking about the internet, one thinks - 'where the hell does it actually sit? I mean, I have a computer, and an internet browser, is that the internet?"

The interesting thing about this segment is that it talks about these 'hubs' of where different connections take place. Where most of the traffic in the world passes through. Isn't that funny/weird? That most of what I just typed, and what you are reading, passed through some 'hub' that connected my computer to the internet, then saved what I wrote to some server somewhere, and in turn, because you clicked a link, that server blasted off this particular group of information.

It then talked about how much of our 'systems' are setup very similarly...like networks....highways, flight patterns, shipping routes, etc. (check out the video here: http://vimeo.com/benmendelsohn/bundled)

The one thing they left out of this segment, was the power of the internet.

Do you know how powerful the internet is?

Actually, do you know how powerful all of the computers in the world are?

Just think about this for a second....if you combined all of the computers in the world....the one I am typing on, the one you are reading off of, the one that 'passes' all of our information around...there's literally billions of servers, and super-computers, and networks with fiber optic cabling, and high-speed connectivity....put these all together....do you know how powerful these are? Just take a guess of the power of all of this computing put together.....any guesses?

If you combined all of the processing power of every computer/server in all of the world, it doesn't even come close to the processing/computing power of 1 (ONE) human brain. Just think about that for a second....your brain is more powerful than the internet....it is more powerful than the technology that powers space shuttles and satellites...more powerful than the technology that powers our largest companies, institutions, and militaries....more powerful than every smartphone, iphone, tablet....ready for this....combined!!

Do you realize the power of what you have? Just read the above paragraph one more time....your brain...yes, your brain, not just some engineer's brain from MIT....your brain is more powerful, has more computing power, more processing power, than every single piece of technology in this world....combined!!

HOLY SHIT!!!

So, I was working out the other day doing my thing, and in Jenna's studio, there is a sign that says: Dream it, do it.

I just found it to be so powerful. Just think, with many brains working together, so much advancement has come about, and you have to believe that is the way it's meant to be...people's lives are being preserved more now than ever with advanced surgeries, and cures (yes, we still have a long way to go, but, advancement has brought us a long way), our ability to communicate is literally real-time. We can fly to one-end of the world to the other within 24 hours....all because someone dreamt it...and then did it. How cool is that?

You know what's even more cool? Their brain was no more powerful than yours.....they just decided they wanted to act on their dreams....in reality, that's what life comes down to....choice, and then action. There was many failures along the way, but with every sacrifice, a better advancement for humankind emerged. I don't think this can be doubted objectively.

My dream is to provide meaningful interactions for people who come from a similar background (teams, families, groups, etc.) and who went through like experiences involving sacrifice and advancement, together. I really dream and believe that the very open world we live in now can be honed, and leveraged for just you, and your closest ones. I don't think that's happening quite yet...it's still a little chaotic....would you agree? Updates, tags, tweets all over the place....all valuable, but not honed yet...still a little scattered. I want to change that.

What is your dream?

Do it.

handouts.....what are we waiting for?

It's pathetic....I have the same 3-4 places I go every week. Is the same true for you?

I mean it's really pathetic, and embarrassing because every time I go in, they know exactly what I want, how I want it, and have it ready.

That's the local Starbucks I go to (Dave goes to Starbucks? What a snob!)....the best staff I've ever seen.

So, I was in there today, and they're selling these new bracelets that in buying one, $5 goes to supporting job creation in America. Know anyone who needs a job?

We all do.

Let's back this up a little. Ever been to CVS, and they ask you to donate $1 to some cause just before you purchase? I get suckered into it every time, and I donate. However, in doing so, this is how I really feel when I see these things that guilt me into giving:

"Goddamit, just leave me alone! Stop milking me every chance you get...$1 is a lot of money to me these days, too, you know! Your charity isn't the only thing that needs money, assholes. Have you looked around? How about you give me a $1, you pricks!" And on, and on...

Do you feel the same? Do you really feel fulfilled when you give this $1, or does your conscience just feel better, and you can go on with your day? It's probably fair to say both, with a strong hint of "welp, my conscience is clear now, and that is all that really matters!!" Anyone? Me too.

So, we've all been there, and it's frustrating.

How about when your school asks you for money? Ha, same response?? I'm sure even more so if you're carrying a fat bill every month for the next 10 years to pay that education off.

It seems all of these institutions with a ton of money already, are looking to soak the people with no money...they're looking for hand-outs! It's funny to hear that our generation is just looking for handouts, yet every time we turn around, someone's milking us for this, or for that, or to pay this bill, or this student loan, etc. Or, your rent is ridiculous, the gas bill is robbing you, and doing it right in your face..your car payments suck, and dammit, why did I buy this house, my mortgage blows! Does this ring true?

So, there I was at Starbucks, and these bracelets were right in front of me. Again, to buy a bracelet was $5, and it went to creating jobs for people out of work.

Just before this, there was a kid outside holding up a sign that said, "Will work for food." He can't be more than 15....he's homeless, and his family is in shambles.

With this, my conscience kicked in, however that same guilty feeling actually didn't arise.

You know what feeling arose?

Compassion, hope, and selflessness.

Compassion....for people, who by the masses can barely pay their bills, send their kids to college at $50K/year, afford to put food on the table, pay for a family car, buy winter clothes. As much as people buy new things these days, there's 5x who won't even leave their houses anymore....because they're ashamed....of something that wasn't their fault (I don't care what anyone says, people have been screwed over). They feel down on themselves, because of the worthlessness that society and the economy has put onto them.

This isn't just the homeless or super poor people. These are everyday people, in every single town and city across America right now. Some may be coming off like they don't have these issues, but for the most part, people are really struggling to find meaning...to find hope....to find purpose...and to not feel worthless.

How many of you are experiencing this?

Maybe you have a job, but yet they are working you to the bone, and you haven't had a raise in 4-years, or it's been less than desirable, and you're still scrapping to get by, because that's what we're suppose to do, right? "Get a job, and climb that corporate ladder!!! Out hustle, be dedicated and work hard! You'll be the CEO someday!! TRUST ME!"...is that you? Are you satisfied?

Well, I'm not satisfied. Not in the least bit....but, I'm not going to sit back and complain. I'm going to make it happen. I'm going to be a positive change agent, because 'why not?'...I live once, and then the new replaces the old. I'm not going to wake-up and say "what's in it for me?", because, news-flash, there's nothing in it for you if you do not change the ways of society. We can't rely on 1-2 people to do it. WE NEED TO DO IT! What are we waiting for? This isn't about some protest. This is about creating opportunity for yourself. Committing to yourself everyday that you will be a positive change agent...even if that's contributing to a fund that helps people find work. Or if it's starting some new adventure, or business, or project you're passionate about, and in turn makes people's lives better. Yes, this requires action, not just screaming and yelling. The way of the world won't change, unless we change. Screw the leaders, you need to be a leader. You need to own up, and take chances, and go after what you really want to go after! Don't let yourself die on the vine in some shitty job....reflect, find your purpose, and go as hard as you can after it! That's what I vow to do.

I pray that we all start enacting change within our own worlds (mine included!) no matter how hard it is with the burdens we all carry (because we all do), and from that, the positive ripples will expand much further, and wider than the pain so many are experiencing right now. I've been known as Dave the football player, athlete, professional, yet, what am I doing to make people's lives better? In the end, that's all that matters.

What are we waiting for?

who cares?......spirituality

The one thing I can't stand are the people who put religion in your face!!

What makes them so much better than the person they're 'evangelizing' to? What makes them so 'righteous'? And the person they're speaking to so 'inferior'?

You ever hear the saying: There's 2 things you never bring up at a meeting or a party 1) Politics 2) Religion. Why is that?

I'm an Irish Catholic born and raised. I went to Catholic Elementary school as a kid, took a quick pit-stop at public schools when we moved to Massachusetts, and then back into an all-boys Catholic High School. There wasn't too much Catholicism going on in college (until I guilted myself into going to mass my senior year.....Irish Catholic guilt, what can I say?) and after college it's become more and more apart of my life. Well, it is my life, and actually always has been. Let me explain.

But before I do...let me just say that: I am not perfect, I make mistakes all the time, some people like me, some people dislike me, I am driven, I can be lazy, I eat healthy, I also eat pizza and ice cream, I exercise, I take days off, I like to take showers, sometimes I don't, I have courage, I have been hurt, I am determined, I am limited, I am a human.

Now that we have that out of the way, did you notice that 50% of those sounded cool, and the other 50% made me seem not cool? (depends on who you're asking.)

Well, you see, my goal is to be 100% cool. Who likes to be lazy, not shower, and take days off? (all of us!), but eventually if that's all we did, we would probably smell pretty bad and be drastically overweight.

Now back to you. Because this is about you.

Religion guides my spirituality. Does that make sense? Religion guides my spirituality. I am made in 3 parts: 1) Physical - flesh, blood, bone, etc. 2) Thoughts and actions combined with emotions and relationships. 3) My soul.

My spirituality is the life-line/the highway that connects all of these 3 (what the hell is Dave talking about??). Follow-me on this. When living on earth, you can't just have 1-part. You need all 3 to live, however there's no guarantees. If you let one dominate who you are, the other two will die. Each of these is like a muscle. If you don't work at it, they die. That goes for your soul, too (or relationships, work, etc, etc). There's plenty of people who have literally died, and don't even have #2 anymore...they're just flesh and bone. Isn't that sad? Do you want to be that person? Think about this for a second. If the whole 'muscle' theory isn't true: if you don't use it, you lose it, then why is the fitness and healthcare industry one of the biggest in our country? Go flex your muscles in the mirror right now (you know you want to, or maybe not)...are they big or small? Why? Well, you either workout a lot, and they are big/defined, or you don't, and you dread taking your shirt off at the beach. We're all in there somewhere on that scale.

What makes someone fit? Well, that's easy: exercise, rest, diet. They work at it, it becomes apart of their life.

Alright, off of working out. Do you see how all 3 are vital to being who you're fully suppose to be? 1) Physical - flesh, blood, bone, etc. 2) Thoughts and actions combined with emotions and relationships. 3) My/your soul. Let's take that a step further. My spirituality grows/strengthens my faith. My faith is in Jesus. Maybe for you it's Buddha, or your Pet Rock, however having a belief in something bigger than yourself is required for your soul (if you don't care about your soul, disregard this statement...I'm guessing you do, though). Have you ever thought about that? I mean, it's one of the most thought-about things throughout humankind, and deep down (I believe it's our souls, maybe you think something else, and that's ok), we yearn to know, we need to know, however sometimes we let our logic/reason disclaim any possibility that something greater exists than 'THE AMAZING HUMAN BEING - ROOOAARR!!". C'mon, you ever thought about this? Is there a God, is there not a God?

Okay, let's not confuse things. If you answered yes to the previous question, guess what, so did people of other religions (no way, I don't believe you Dave). Yep, maybe a Jewish person just answered yes. Maybe an Atheist just answered yes. Maybe a Catholic just answered yes. Maybe a Muslim just answered yes. At the end of the day, who cares? We're all on the path to find similar answers to our similar burning questions, regardless of religion. This is where faith comes in.....

Not every question has an answer. But for me, my faith answers the unanswered, and allows my spirituality to grow - Jesus de-clogs my spiritual pipes (speaking of which, I used a plunger on our sink the other day! what the...) - along with my other 2 parts to allow me to be fully alive (in him) and free flowing. Does this just happen? No, I work at it everyday. This includes prayer, reflection, humility (knowing where I can be better - again, de-clog it!) It's apart of who I am. That's the level of commitment I have towards deepening my faith, which in turn deepens my spirituality, which in turn deepens my physical being, which in turns makes my thoughts, actions and relationships: healthier, alive, and stronger. My relationship with God is far deeper than just de-clogging 'my spiritual pipes', it's a 2-way street, but for the sake of this piece, I hope it gets the point across. It is so very much more than that, and that cannot be written...only experienced...on a sunny day, or through time, work and commitment.

You see, this is about bringing YOU peace. It's about bringing YOU meaning. It's about enriching YOUR life, or in this case, MY life. Call it selfish. That's ok, because in living this way, you're fully alive. You're doing well.

Spirituality is the glue that makes us human. You can walk by someone and feel their energy, can't you? When you're in love, you just know it, right? Last time I checked, I wasn't walking around with some physical energy gauge on my Android that said "Good Energy/Bad Energy" every time someone walked by. This is built within you....and yes, it's invisible (I think, I've never seen it.) But in all seriousness, the deeper your spirituality, the more you're able to live in connection with yourself, your soul, and the others/world around you. How cool and liberating is that?? I think it is, that's one of the reasons it matters so much to me.

It allows you to understand yourself, your purpose, your meaning. Do these 3 things matter to you: yourself, purpose and meaning? I'm guessing 1A, 1B, 1C in regards to most important things in your life.

Start nurturing them, get to know them (yourself, purpose and meaning - spirituality). It doesn't happen overnight, and I am still working my ass off everyday to know them, but it's worth the effort. It's worth the time....if your way of doing it is through religion, cool...if not, just as cool. This is about you, knowing yourself, having peace within yourself, and heightening your purpose and meaning.

 That's spirituality.

what's with all of this 1%, 99% talk?

How many of us like a big, juicy steak?

Cheeseburger? With Bacon? (my favorite)

How about we round that out with a nice order of greasy, salty fries, and wash it down with a BIG beverage? How's that sound?

Ooh, almost forgot desert! Make that two scoops, I start my diet tomorrow..ha...ha...ha

Hungry?

I was talking with my dad the other day, and we were chatting about what makes us human (Dave talks about weird things with his dad). Have you ever thought about what makes you human? Well, to begin with we have eyes, ears, a mouth, nose, arms, legs, hands, skin, organs....some of us are tall, some of us are short...some are men, some are women....some have hair, some don't (you know who you are)....some are light complexion, some are dark complexion.....some are old, some are young. Let's take it a step further. What sustains human life? Well, there's food, air, water, sleep, work....but also, relationships, having fun, challenging ourselves, love and kindness, etc.

I want to focus on the food, water and air. Without these three, nothing matters....kind of weird to think about, but if you didn't have food, water, and especially air, close to every single day, you would die.....that's how fragile life is. Simply, life is unsustainable without these three. It doesn't matter how big your paycheck is, your job title, how many girlfriends you have, how fast your car is....simply, without food, water, or air you're gone....and everything you accumulated, disappears. Think about this for a second, it sounds weird, but without food, water, or air which are somehow magically created without human intervention (that still happens?!?!)....without them, I am not typing right now. Everything else builds on top of these three.

Where do these three come from? Earth. Everything we put into our bodies, good or bad, comes from Earth. The very thing keeping my ass planted on my seat typing right now (that's gravity for all you physicists out there), is Earth. It's the same thing my feet hit when I run. It's the same place that grows the fruits and vegetables that I eat. The same place that I get the water that sustains my life, or the air that fills my lungs. Little 'ol, under-appreciated, Earth. This is just the facts. It's not some granola-crunchy, hippie view of the world, it's the facts. Earth literally grows humans like plants....it's just we can walk around (no, I'm not on LSD right now).

You see, what I'm trying to do is paint a picture....that what makes up me, also makes up you. Again, what makes up ME, also makes up YOU. We drink the same water, we eat the same food, we breath the same air, from the same Earth. We're more than 99% identical. Did you know that? In fact, all mammals are over 99% identical.

So, in today's real-world, that 1% that everyone is talking about, are 99% the same as you and I (gross, I don't want to be considered one of them!) Too bad, you are.

What's really wrong with this picture? Is we've forgotten who we are as people. As humans. So much of our lives are based on class, or ranking, or "I'm apart of the 1%, kiss my ass" or "I'm apart of the 99%, wahh"...who gives a shit, on either side. Earth sustains us the same, and in order to follow our hearts, not the materials we accumulate....few or many. You can validate that by listening to your heart right now. Do you feel it calling you? Or maybe  you're stressed because you're not really listening to it?

Bottom-line is who gives a shit about classes, the percentage you fall in, what you make or don't make, or the horse and buggy you rode in on...all that matters is, when you wake up, and take your first breath, your first sip of water, and your first bite of food, that you know where that's coming from. And in turn, that you're answering what it's asking of you.

Are you listening to it? Or just taking it in, one sip, bite, breath at a time all for yourself, pointing your finger at others....because it's what's owed to you?

Think again.

you're sorry?....I forgive

I hate you! It's your fault! What the hell? Dude? Really, Really?!?!? What's their problem? Look at that person, hahahaha....

How many times during the day do you feel this type of anger? How many times do you judge others?

Why are we so mad?

I don't know about you, but something seems to drive me. Between passion, belief, faith, there's also something else at work.....my wounds (cry me a river, Dave). Unless you never reflect, you may not relate to this, but if you think about things weekly or even daily on what drives you, start to bring up the time your older brother or sister beat you up; or your mom and dad weren't understanding of you; or the hurt or embarrassment a sibling caused on your family because of their actions; or the time you were unjustly punished, benched, graded, mocked, made fun of, misunderstood, or treated. Even more severely, maybe abuse was in your life; maybe mom and dad weren't around; or maybe they didn't care about you and your dreams. On the flip side, maybe you were pushed to hard; expectations were set to high, and you failed. Maybe you're still trying to live up to those expectations today. Any of this true in your life? How does it make you feel to read this, and 're-hash' crappy feelings?

In your life, has any of these 'violators' come back to you, and said their sorry? How did you respond? Was it something like this: You, "It's ok, I forgive you." How you really felt, "You're sorry? Are fucking kidding me?!?! You're sorry??? I can't stand you! You've ruined so much of my life, you've taken so much from me. Everyday I wake up, I'm frustrated and annoyed because of people like you. Don't be sorry. Those are just words." And then you move on, possibly even more upset than before.  Anyone?

Well, that was me for a little while. I had a lot of reasons to be pissed....just like you. To be burned time and time again, and said sorry to, time and time again, when does it really become a reality?

I couldn't figure out why I was so mad, even-though I had been told sorry, or someone's new actions conveyed their deepest apologies towards me......I soon realized, after I let it consume me, or let it hold me back from my dreams, that it was no longer the 'violators' fault for letting my inner anger hold me back.....it was my fault.....I hadn't forgiven yet. 

You see, the words 'I'm sorry' are powerful, however the words 'You're forgiven' are the most powerful. It releases you.....it releases them. It makes the act that was so hurtful, go away forever. It tips the energy scales from negative, to positive, opening these positive reserves back up for you. Now think, if you learned to forgive, and move on, just imagine how tipped the energy scale would be on the positive side. Do you follow me? This isn't about the violator....they already said sorry. This is about YOU. Our natural want is for the violator to feel the hurt that we felt because of them, and we hold the key to it because we never forgive them.....well, guess what....you're hurting yourself at the same time. Do you care that much that this other person hurts, eventhough they've already said sorry, that you'll do it to your own expense....to your own hurt? Why?

The world hurts us everyday, in one way or another..that's just reality. And sometimes the hurt sticks around longer than others....because we let it. You let it. I let it.

Stop imprisoning yourself with past hurts, and unforgiven 'sorries'. You have a big beautiful life to live. It's yours. Be free.

I forgive.

Do you?

24 hours and counting.....repeat.

Have you ever thought about how much our lives are marked on time? I mean, literally everything we do has a time associated with it. I am this old. I have been at this same crappy job this many years. I graduated in 4 years....ooo, you did in 5, ouch. Usain Bolt ran the 100m in 9.6 seconds. I am driving this many miles per HOUR. A professional football game is exactly 60 minutes. Maybe over-TIME. What is time? Can I touch time?

Because I'm an uber-dork at times (did this nerd just use the word 'uber'....he is a dork), I decided during one of Jenna and my walks this past weekend in Maine that we should comprehend how old earth is. Gee, isn't that fun, sweetheart?! (yea, whatever Dave, weirdo). What made me think of this was we were walking on the ocean, and there were these big, beautiful rocks that the waves were crashing into. It was an absolute picturesque scene......the ocean mist was spraying everyone as they walked by, and the wind was hollowing.....it was pretty cool. I was looking at these rocks, and it hit me that they must've been thousands, if not millions of years old (there I go measuring the rocks in time). Those rocks have a pretty long life, and most likely don't care about time.....but yet slowly, but surely, the rock will disappear as the ocean wears it down. New rocks surface, and the process repeats itself (this is where we get sand in case you were wondering.) It made me realize how long a rocks life is, and how short mine is. I then started estimating earth's life (about 6 billion years), and then of course the sun (about 15 billion years), and then my own (hopefully 90+ years!....woohoo). As I then so nerdily put it, my life is a pimple on the ass of earth's time. I will be washed up into the sea, just like these rocks, and, you guessed it, the process will repeat itself....depressing? Not quite.

If there is one constant in this world, it is time. Things are born, and things die, yet nothing really stays the same. Even a plastic bottle will decompose after 1,000 years (yes, that is depressing). How many of us measure ourselves against time? 'Oh my God, I am almost 30 (me).' 'Time is ticking, and I'm not married yet, and don't have a boy or girlfriend in site.' 'Am I really in the job I want....oh no, I've wasted 5 precious years here.' Or, 'When I'm 40 I will be retired, and have millions of dollars!' (get off the couch first) or 'I can't wait until I'm 25 so I can finally rent a car!'. Why are we always chasing time? Is it because that is all we truly have? It's our one constant 'asset.'

I use to be the worst 'time-chaser' ever. I needed everything now, and if I couldn't have it, I forced it....sound familiar? We have so many expectations on us. Be married by this age. Graduate at this age. Have kids at this age. Be grandparents at this age. Be retired at this age. Buy my first house at this age. And on, and on, and on. Who are we living for?

You see, I decided somewhere along the line, after chasing time burned me 'time' and again, that chasing time, is actually wasting time. You follow me on this? The act of chasing literally means  'pursuing to catch up with' (google.com). After my first business failed, or I could barely make payments on my mortgage, or didn't have enough money to fix my house, truck, belongings, I realized chasing time was robbing me of the time I actually had.....

One thing I am very thankful for is my faith. It's been instilled into me by my family, school, friends, and by MY CHOICE, I make it apart of my life....apart of my time on earth. After many failures, one of the biggest things I've learned is to maximize the time I have......by living 24 hours at a time...i.e., 1 day. Within that day, I am going to commit to myself that I am going to give all of myself to the world, for just those 24 hours. I'm not going to worry about 48 hours from now, just those 24. I am going to set goals, and get 1-step closer to them, 24 hours at a time. This includes health, diet and exercise. It inlcudes prayer, and reflection.....friendship, community, hope, patience, forgiveness, love, perseverance, balance, tenacity, visualization, wisdom, kindness, charity, compassion, courage,  selflessness, and sacrifice. In 24 hours, that is all I am going to strive for. Nothing more, nothing less. I know, if I live my life according to these principals, 24 hours at a time, at the end of my days, I would have achieved so much, in the present moment. By assuming these principals, I release myself from the burden of time...I am no longer chasing, I am now living......do you see the difference? By living in the day....living within 24 hours, I make time, timeless.

24 hours, repeat....repeat what is good...repeat what is right....before you know it, 24 hours, turns into 24 days, into 24 years....reality will get rid of the old, and bring in the new. Why chase it?